Day 6

"If there was only one thing you should take out your diet-- it should be sugar. . . ."

I am a sugar addict.

I just had my food allergies done and guess what came up highest on the test: sugar.

Even fructose.

I loooooooove sugar. I'm not a candy girl, really. But, as the daughter of my father who has dessert after dinner and then a second dessert before he goes to bed (I don't know how the man is not obese), I like my sugar.

Some of my favorites:

1. Cookies and Cream ice cream WITH double stuffed Oreos crumbled into it. Oh my heavens, this might be heaven. I used to eat a bowl every night. No joke.

2. My mother's cinnamon rolls made from scratch. Ummmmm, yeahhhh....

3. SUGAR CEREAL-- especially Lucky Charms or Apple Jacks!!! Where your milk turns pink and your mouth is raw!!! Once in college I downed a box of Apple Jacks in less than 12 hours. I was studying for exams.

Why am I reminiscing? Because usually when I cleanse I go through some major withdrawals and cravings.

I have ZERO cravings. It's strange. I've been drinking obviously the nasty green drink (which is actually not tasting so nasty lately) and eating small salads and I'm FULL. Tonight I couldn't even eat dinner . . . my body must not have needed it.

This phenomenon is blowing me away! I mean, I am the girl who would eat 5 ice cream snicker bars and 6 bowls of cereal and I kid you not 12 Texas Roadhouse rolls smothered with butter where they bring you basket after basket after basket.

I am a girl who knows how to EAT. One of my past boyfriends was stunned when we went to iHop and ordered 3 huge waffles. I finished mine before he finished his and then I downed the third waffles BY MYSELF. He just put his fork down and laughed his head off.

Day 5

The irony of this cartoon kills me.

The green drink. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't want to drink it today. I procrastinated. I carried it around with good intentions-- it even ended up at the movies with me.

I drank it in the supermarket. Shopping with my man for more greens. It was 9 pm for crying out loud. I'm like a little kid really trying not to eat her spinach.

BUT! Then this woman stopped me in the store and said, "K . . . so what are you drinking?" Next thing you know, we're chattin' up a storm like we're gal pals about cleansing and being alkaline AND get this: she used to have all these ailments, including lumps (that were being checked regularly for cancer) in her breasts and cystic acne that are now GONE.

This woman was ... beautiful. She's about 15 years older than me and I wanted her skin.

I chugged the rest of that green drink.

UPDATE: Old blemishes healing FAST. Had a teeny tiny one pop up today but nowhere near the marble-under-the-skin-that-will-never-pop-or-heal that I'm accustomed to.

My energy and positive mental clarity STILL astounds me.

Funny

Day 4

Mental Clarity. I have never had so much mental clarity. Usually I have what I like to refer to as: BRAIN FOG.

It feels like exactly what it sounds. A foggy brain.

Try being a 15 year old explaining brain fog to a old man wearing a bow tie and spectacles. Not glasses. These were spectacles. And a bow tie. With your mother in the room. And yes, he wore tweed.

I used to sleep 12 hours a night, then take a 3 hour nap after school. No joke. In college, you'd turn the corner and find me curled up on the floor or on a bench catching a snooze before and after class.

I was prescribed prozac very young which made me even more of a zombie. I remember spending thanksgiving with my family and over a period of three days pretty much waking up just to eat turkey. I literally slept for 3 days.

Later in life (a couple of years ago) turns out I don't have just depression I have adult ADHD. "Whatever," I thought, "I do not". I thought of ADD as the hyper-active kid who couldn't sit still for two seconds. That was not me.

A couple of prescriptions later and well, yeah, I really did feel amazing. The ADHD pills really worked. But, I hated the side-effects. I became a chatterbox hyped up on speed who couldn't sleep EVER (insomnia was an absolute phenomenon to me) and felt like my heart was beating WAY too hard for a 25 year old. I'd commonly think, "I'm gonna have a heart attack at 30 if I keep this up."

At my mid 20's I was feeling pretty good-- if I got too stressed or not enough sleep I would struggle.

Now in my late 20's, it's been a bit of an uphill climb. Divorce set me back a bit. BUT, I have been really focusing on controlling and focusing the thoughts of my brain. Daily. Day after day.

Day after day after day after . . . . day.

It's exhausting. It takes extreme mental focus and some days it's just too hard. But, these last couple of days of cleansing my body have boosted me. My brain can think. It sounds so simple and to those who don't understand will never understand. But, my brain, my soul, my subconscious whatever it is, is CONSTANTLY WAGING A WAR AGAINST ITSELF.

And today was a relief from that.

New Zit today. They are healing quickly though.

Day 3

So, yesterday . . . wasn't THAT bad. I went to bed at 9:30 pm and tossed and turned until about 8:30 am.

I had a MASSIVE HEADACHE. Must've been the toxins feeding into my bloodstream or something.

BUT! I did take a ... poop. FINALLY! That word. Really there's no way to refer to excrement or feces tactfully. It's just impossible. It was lovely though. Really lovely. I told you I'm a little passionate about not only what goes in my body but what comes out as well.

I mean who wouldn't be when I've literally seen parasites come out the other end? YUP. I said it. It wasn't during this particular cleanse, but I'm sure they're in there. Everyone's got 'em.

My friend Mia, who is a cleanse specialist (cleansing LITERALLY saved her life) wants to write a book called, "Even Girls Fart" or "Girls Fart Too", something to that extent. Pretty hilarious. I did a liver cleanse and LOTS of colonics through her. Now SHE is one passionate lady when it comes to poop.

"Poopy Doopy doopity doo . . . " my brother-in-law sang, "I have a poopy diaper for you!" my 2 year old genius-of-a-niece chirped on the spot as her father changed her diaper.

UPDATE on Today: High Energy. Positive Mental Attitude. New zit. (But the healing of the old ones is going quite well). All in all, feeling on the up and up about being alkaline.

Day 2

MASSIVE HEADACHE.

Day 1

This morning I wanted to vomit. Seriously vomit.

The greeeeen drink. It sits there looking like algae. It reeks like fish tank. And I drink. I actually chugged.

The idea is to flush my body with so many healthy, alkalizing fluids that I rid myself of toxins and other what nots.

If morning sickness feels like this I never want to get preggers.

Ok... So I am exaggerating a bit. What I ate today: 2 liters of green, algae looking, fish tank smelling green drink.

Almonds.

Salad with lots of greens,

peppers,

olives (not sure if its alkaline but oh well),

artichoke hearts (which I seriously have a love affair with-- don't think I could do this without the thought of artichoke hearts in my salad),

fruit salad and...

yams.

Fruit salad. I'm not gonna lie I felt like a cheater when I made this salad. It's too yummy to be THAT alkalizing. Then I rationalize, "well . . . it doesn't really matter anyway . . . it's still a raw food, it's alive, it's a LIVING food!!!" While a little google search on the iPhone did confirm that my fruit salad is alkaline-- it is a 'low level alkaline', whatever that means.

Why I care? Candida. I am afraid that my body is racked with Candida and fruit feeds Candida, right? Right??? And supposedly candida causes those unforgiving, ever relentless, will torture me forever ZITS!

I had a new one pop up today. Bugger.

What I am looking forward to for tomorrow: a BIG, HUGE, GREEN, STINKIN' POOOOOOOP!

I know it sounds really weird but one thing I love about cleansing is analyzing my poop. I will spare you details on this site. It is exciting though to see what you're body is capable of storing in your GUT.

John Wayne's autopsy supposedly reported that he had an 82 pound colon when he died. 5 pounds of living tissue and 77 pounds of dried fecal matter. If that's not a reason to cleanse I don't know what is.